Why are you inconsistent about money habits? 🤑
One of the best parts about being a therapist is that it's a profession that one ages into (instead of aging out of). Just 18 months ago, I was introduced to Internal Family Systems, which isn't new, but has caught a lot of attention in the last few years.🌟 I've been on an IFS deep dive ever since I learned about it in my training with the Trauma of Money 💰💔 because it works SOOOO well to help us heal those parts of us that have an extremely emotional reaction to money. (It also is effective in most mental health disorders.) 💵
Have you heard of it? 🤔
Answer me this:
Do you ever experience an internal conflict that seems to go round and round, with both sides making so much sense but oppose each other? 🔄
For example:
It feels right to hold off on that vacation this year to save money for next year. What a good choice that is! … 💰💸
but the next day…
I'm absolutely crawling out of my skin if I spend one more day at home! Put it on the credit card 💳 and I'll figure it out later! It's self-care!
The idea is simple, and also revolutionary: We all experience life through the lens of different “parts,” internal psychological constructs that behave, feel, and learn just like people. Our parts also interact with each other, much like social systems in the outside world. And at times, they “take the wheel” to control our behavior.
You might think: like multiple personality disorder? 🤯
Kind of… but that mental health disorder (actually now called "Dissociative Identity Disorder) is an extreme example of something that happens naturally to all people. As we go through life, new parts emerge within us to help us cope with struggles and wins. While these parts vary in their temperament, they all have the same goal: to keep you safe. 😊
The rub is that your parts have VERY different ideas of how to keep you safe, and they often disagree. 🤷♂️
Internal Family Systems is a therapeutic technique where the therapist helps the client listen to and work with these parts. The process recognizes that all parts of you deserve respect. Your parts want to be heard, and like children, if they aren't heard, they'll act out.
In short, there are no bad parts. Which is also the name of the book we're reading in the Club this month for our own Mental Health and Money Month, and you might want to read along: 📖
There's a lot more to IFS. This is just a taste. I'll share more this month as we use it as a framework to listen to all our parts that have strong feelings and opinions about money. 💬💸
Email me and let me know – What's your experience with IFS? And have you noticed an internal struggle with 2 parts of you speaking out? Disagreeing?" 🔄