The Student Loans are Coming 😨
Guest Blog by Money Healing Club Moderator, Melissa Jensen
On September 3rd, I got the email I had been dreading all summer: “It’s time to prepare for student loan payments starting in October.” Ever since it was announced that the student loan pause was actually, truly, for real this time, ending, I had been filled with a whirlwind of emotions:
😨 Fear: my budget is TIGHT. Between a job that requires me to be in office four times a week, my $200 rent increase, and inflation, I panicked about where I was going to find the extra money to make my payments.
🤦🏽♀️ Guilt: I hate that I have these loans so much, I’m embarrassed I got them for a degree I barely use, I feel ashamed that I didn’t just push through the work required at a big firm with a big salary to pay them off, instead choosing lower-paying public service jobs.
😡 Anger: WHY DOES IT COST SO MUCH TO GO TO SCHOOL ANYWAY??! I didn’t create a predatory system of interest and a worldwide financial crisis that made me feel like a secondary degree was the only way to find a job!! Why should I have to pay them?
🙈 Denial: Maybe I can fake my death and run away to Europe, hiding from FAFSA in oversized sunglasses and trench coats? Or, what’s the worst thing that could happen if I don’t pay them? It’s not like I’m gonna buy a house anytime soon.
🫥 Shame: Why is money so hard for me and why can’t I just make it work?
If you have student loans, you probably relate to at least one of these feelings. But the loans are here, so I’m doing what I can to mitigate the stress:
I have set aside my estimated loan payment the past few months so I can get used to not having it in my budget.
I used the FAFSA Loan Simulator to determine the best repayment plan for me (I am participating in the Public Service Loan Forgiveness Program, so for me that’s the lowest payment possible, but everyone's situation is different).
I keep a small money journal that I use periodically to write down my feelings about money, and I have been journalling the hell out of my angry feelings. All of these negative emotions are perfectly normal and valid, but if I let them stay in me then I start to get anxious and feel totally overwhelmed by the situation. So I let them live on the page instead of in my body. If a journal doesn’t work for you, try a meditative practice or moving your body in a fun way.
Talking with others in the Money Healing Club. While I initially joined to help with my online shopping, it has been such a helpful space as the loans approach. Debt is often seen as a moral failure, so talking with others in similar situations has validated my experience and helped share the emotional load.
Facing the facts that I’m just going to have less money starting next month. This has meant cutting my food budget back, turning down social events that cost money, and really prioritizing how I want to spend my limited fun money. I’m trying to spend my time doing more free activities, including digging out the pandemic hobbies (hello watercolor set I haven’t touched in a year!).
Logging out of my mom’s Amazon Prime account. Okay, I did log back in once, cause I needed something quickly for work, but not having free 2-day shipping is a really great way to curb that Amazon impulse shopping.
While these steps have helped me feel more of a sense of control for the situation, I’m also coming to terms with the fact that there might be some mistakes in the next few months, as I try to fit a loan payment into my life again.
Perfection is the enemy of good, and for me, when I made mistakes with money in the past, it spiked my anxiety and made me feel like such a failure that I had to self soothe by spending money-an ironic but awful cycle. As I prepare to make the next loan payment, I’m also preparing myself that I might overspend, I might have to make some extra money, I might have to pull from savings. It will be tough. But even if I do, this doesn’t define me and I can do better next month.
Sometimes other actions, such as refinancing, forbearance, repayment calculations, or simply picking up side gigs are needed to make student loans work. Taking these options are not a sign of failure, they are sometimes necessary steps in a challenging economy.
Student loans are a financial burden that many of us must shoulder, with efforts for loan forgiveness blocked and delayed. But they don’t have to overwhelm or defeat us.
You’re not alone.
P.S. If you’ve ever found yourself shopping to soothe, only to feel that pit of regret, the 7 Day Mindful Spending Challenge could be just what you need. Seven gentle, research-backed prompts to explore why spending feels comforting—and how to shift those habits with kindness.
